In Memoriam Of Jude Moersdorf

Several weeks ago, a new developer that was working for me, Jude Moersdorf, seemingly dropped off the face of the planet. I was convinced he had changed jobs and moved, he had mentioned going to Santa Barbara.

Boy, was I wrong.

Turns out that Jude committed suicide on or around March 1- days, maybe even hours, after my last conversation with him.

He answered my ad on Craigslist, claiming he was willing to become my "apprentice"- what a wonderful choice of words! We had lunch several times, and really hit it off well- our philosophies of development were very similar, and of course we were both Cal Poly (FUCK THEM TO HELL) Alums. Jude made the only all-programmers meeting we've yet held, but after that, communication was sparse. It looked to be turning around though, and he started work on debugging some nagging issues and working on the physics of the game.

Then he dropped off the world.

His phone number stopped working, his email address was bouncing, and I started getting a sick feeling as time went by- none of that added up to anything good. I knew he was depressed, but I thought he sounded fairly upbeat while discussing the projects and the company. Maybe I was hoping against the odds that he had simply dropped everything and moved- it seemed something in his position might do.

I didn't know Jude long or well, but I may be the last friend he made in his short life. I'm left with a lingering question, if I had only engaged him more- hung out together as I had planned and hoped to do- could I have averted the tragedy? Would I even have been able to see it coming?

Rest in peace, Jude. Sephil Saga will carry your name for posterity.